the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
