I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
