he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
