ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
