Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
