Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
