if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
