Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
