i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
