dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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