So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
