Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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