yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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