whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We talked him into tasing himself.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize