it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
