So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize