I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
