ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
