I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
