I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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