do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He's on the porch naked. Help.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
