strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
