if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
