I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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