I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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