Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
