it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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