I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize