u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
