you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
