I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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