woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
