Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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