don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize