i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
