I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
this is an emotional support booty call
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
