This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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