First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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