Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
we should paint friendship bongs
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