imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
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