What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
