Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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