My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
