the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Enjoy the penises
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
