I think I died a long time ago.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
