check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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