She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Let's get the cat blown out
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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