now i know why i became what i already was.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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