glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
