i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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