I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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