Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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