Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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