Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i need to put some appletini on your dick
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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