people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
