yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
