do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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