I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
