I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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