it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
