i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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