I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
You ever have a fart follow you around?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
