You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
